Maunawili [Try Not to] Falls

This post is brought to you by Gain detergent and Ivory soap.

I've been wanting to hike to Maunawili Falls since before I moved to Oahu. It just sounded like so much fun: trekking through a rain forest to get to the waterfall where you could jump into a pool of water. Doesn't get any more aloha than that.

I debated doing the hike alone for several weeks and decided against it. It just seemed like one of those things that would be more fun if shared with people you love.

Then I tried to get the people I love motivated about it, but I was really the only enthusiastic one. Fortunately, there's a super-cool skate park down the road from the hike that the kids wanted to try out. I suggested a quick roll around the park, followed by a hike to Maunawili Falls.

The skate park turned out to be too good and it was after 3:00 before I could get them off the ramps. We headed straight over, but I had a nervous feeling in my gut that we wouldn't be done with the 3.5 mile hike before nightfall. We all changed into hiking shoes and set off, only to be stopped by a man walking his dog, who pointed at the sky and said all Yoda-like: Rain is coming.

Right at the trailhead, lay a warning of what lay ahead for us: a pile of cast-off shoes and clothing thick with mud piled below the sign. As soon as we entered the canopy, the rain started. I told everyone that by the time it filtered through all the trees above us, it would be no more than an annoying trickle.

And they believed me.

We kept on.

Muddy is not what I would call this trail. Muddy would be nice. I would take muddy. This was like mud squared. This was like mud bitten by a radioactive spider. Groups of people who had completed the hike were coming the other way looking like sci-fi creatures, frightening us all about what lay beyond the next bend. Then we would take the next bend to find steps and roots coated in slick mud. We were all sliding around in it as rain ran down our faces. Husband, with his impeccable balance, even took a spill, hurting his old-man shoulder.

After about fifteen minutes of sheer terror, slipping around the muddy path, over muddy rocks, down muddy embankments, we finally came to a stream. I wiped water from my eyes, left a trail of mud on my cheeks and said: This is nice. I'm happy we're doing this. Husband looked at me with raised eyebrows. Daughter began to cry. Two men came around the bend and said: Be careful up ahead, it's really slippery, dot--dot--dot.

Husband called it off and turned the family around to slide our way back to the car.

Maunawili Falls:1
Sessoms: 0

Better luck next time.