Have Paddle, Will Travel

Stars aligned recently and Husband got a day off work while kids were in school. If this sort of thing were to happen on the mainland, it would be one exciting day of shopping at Target and then eating lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings. Whoo doggy! Here on Hawaii, though, we like to spend these gifted moments on our SUPs, this time to visit one of the Mokes.

There are two of these islands off the coast of Lanikai and they are collectively called Moku-something-or-other, I could look it up, but it's a whole thing and you people will forgive me if I don't, right? You can explore the big Moke, but the little one is kapu or forbidden.

The Mokes are beautiful to gaze at from land and probably one of the big reasons why Lanikai is frequently cited as the most beautiful beach in America/the World/the Milky Way/the known universe/the unknown universe and I've been dying to see them up close.

Parking is a beast at Lanikai, so we took off right after the kids left for school to beat all the lazy tourists who wanted a little sleep-in on their vacations. Ha! Suckers! There's only street parking and it's really awkward parking in what feels like someone's yard and then trekking through the beach access right next to their kitchen window, especially when you have two large SUPs with you, but it's so calm and serene there, with no shore break to fight, and is the perfect place to launch.

Lanikai really is beautiful with it's clear aqua water and the softest sand you will ever feel in your life, but I'm not a huge fan. Smells a little too much like money for my taste, somehow lacking in authenticity. Authenticity of what? I have no clue. Just some sort of authenticity is missing. By the way, my kids HATE Lanikai and if anyone even mentions it, they go off on a tirade of how boring it is. So if you have older kids, you're probably better off at Kailua Beach which has more boogie board action.

We launched with no problems and I was immediately in this idyllic state, almost giddy with disbelief that I was so blessed to be able to do such a thing. The sea was calm as a lake near shore, there was no wind to fight, and I had improved my ability to go straight. The good thing about SUP is that it's no big deal if you fall. It's not like riding a bike. It won't hurt a bit if you fall, you just climb back on. The only problem with riding SUPs in Lanikai is the coral that lines the bottom of the ocean floor. It can make it really shallow in some spots and every time I came to a shallow spot, I would panic for a minute, because I absolutely could not fall there right on top of a bed of coral. I never did, but had a few close calls.

The closer we got to the Mokes, the heavier the surf got and I dropped to my knees to paddle through the waves. When we neared the beach, two surfs came together from opposite directions and crashed in the middle. Of course, beginner that I am, I found myself right where they crashed. The first two times they crashed on me, I held on and stayed on the board, but third time was not a charm and sent me head over heels into the waves. I was shallow enough, so I tried to push the board in, while also holding my paddle, but the coral was too slippery. and I kept losing my grip while the waves continued to pound me from both sides. Luckily, there was a couple hanging out on the beach who got to see the whole, clumsy affair, so I was happy to bring some laughter into their day. The man (a very nice British gent) finally came to my rescue and got my paddle for me so I could concentrate on holding up my bikini bottoms that kept threatening to run away.


We were treated to a nice surprise at once, a large monk seal was sunning itself on the island. Just enjoying a lazy day. Husband and I gave him a wide berth and walked around the island, as far as we could get with bare feet, appreciating the danger around every corner. Something about Hawaii no one ever tells you: you get the sense of how easy it would be to die. We gazed out over a rocky cliff, I looked at Husband and said: "Now, this is Hawaii."

We paddled back and headed to The Shack in Kailua to replenish all those spent calories with a pitcher of IPA, a philly cheese steak, and some onion rings. Sigh. Lucky I live Hawaii.