Flat Island or Bust

So there's this thing I like to do--stand-up paddleboarding (or SUP). I am, admittedly, not too great at it. But being mediocre at something has never stopped me before. In fact, I've lived quite the mediocre life and I'm cool with that. When amazingly good things really start happening for me, that's when I get all antsy and neurotic and a little bit insane. Middle-of-the-road mediocrity is the only place I can breathe properly.

SUP is a great thing to do in Hawaii which has, no lie, the best food on the planet that is in no way, shape, or form healthy to eat. I need some way to burn off that Kalua pork and I like to be in the water. Match made in Pacific island heaven.

The first thing you need to SUP is a ginormous board. The bigger the board, the more stable, i.e. easier, it is. Husband moved me to Hawaii with our three kids back in June and then took off for seventy days to "do his job." Whatevs. I deserved something pretty terrific for keeping the kids alive while he was gone and I'm not a fan of jewelry, so he did what any good husband would do--bought me a ginormous SUP board, along with a smaller one for himself so he can surf waves on it.

We decided to go to Kailua on the Windward side of Oahu and paddle out to Flat Island on our new boards. Flat Island is a bird sanctuary and I've been watching people paddle out there for months now, sick with envy that they got to see the birds. I wanted to see the birds too, dammit!

I did some research before we left and read that this SUP trip from Kailua Beach to Flat Island was great for beginners. What I forgot was that Hawaii's idea for Beginner is what Mainlanders would refer to as Intermediate/Advanced. Hawaii's idea for Advanced, btw, is something that has a good chance of leading to your untimely demise.

Flat Island looks super-close from the shore, like...right there. How hard could it be to paddle out to it? We happened to pick a windy day with waves that were way choppier than any I had experienced before while on a SUP and started out towards the island. I paddled and paddled my little heart out. I paddled until my arms were limp. I looked back after about thirty minutes and I was barely off shore!

Husband loved this day, because he's pretty good at SUP (and everything else in life) and it gave him a perfect opportunity to spend the entire day at his favorite hobby: telling me what to do. As hobbies go, it's relatively harmless and this time, much appreciated by myself. He gave me a few tips and then took off to ride the waves that break around Flat Island.

Show off.

It's right there. We'll be there in no time!

I eventually made it to Flat Island too, battling a headwind the whole way, dropping to my knees several times in fatigue. I parked the SUP on the beach and walked around the rim of the small island, the sharp rock formations stabbing my bare feet, bringing a Hawaiian saying that I recently coined to mind: You can have a full life or pretty feet. You can't have both. I saw a few birds and said, "Oh. Birds." I watched husband wipe-out on a wave. I walked to the far side of the island and looked East. I've lived near the Atlantic Ocean for much of my life. I like to stand on a shore and look East. East feels like me. East feels like home. I watched that horizon stretch into the distance, broken up only by the Mokes, pondered the fact that I was blessed to have the opportunity to appreciate such a thing and then paddled back, the wind pushing me forward.